When someone goes through a “dark night of the soul”…it really is like being inside a butterfly cocoon. We do not know “when” or even “if” we are going to come out.
Sometimes we may need to turn away from those who do not support who we are becoming, including certain family members or friends.
It is a time of deep searching, shadow and inner child work, dreaming, questioning the self-limiting beliefs we cling to, and contemplating our existence and reality.
Like a snake that sheds its former skin, we appear to be shaking off or peeling back the many layers of persona – all that is no longer who we are.
As we bravely continue on this pathway, many inner gifts are revealed and we slowly begin to hear again the authentic and unique song of our heart and soul.
1st photo: Me, 23 years old in my earliest metamorphosis stage 🙂 – choosing to live in a boatshed in New Zealand. 2nd photo: 20 years later in Italy, wildforaging with Wild Garlic/ Aglio Orsino.
After having been successful in a publishing company as a graphic designer, a trip backpacking around Thailand with my friend showed me that clearly I was not on my soul path.
For years, I was searching to reclaim the same joy, delight, simplicity and freedom I had experienced together with my friend in Thailand, spending time with humble, beautiful Buddhist and Muslim families. In Thailand, 20 years old, I had discovered true happiness and I experienced a heart awakening that was deeply unforgetable and life changing.
Eventually, I abandoned all the ideas, hopes and dreams I had collected from outside sources and instilled in my mind about how my life “should look”. What followed was a time of floating about and searching – not feeling grounded in my body or in life at all.
Thankfully, my earlier experiences in Thailand with humble and authentic cultures remained deep in my mind and heart. In 2003 I sold and gave away most of my belongings to move into a tiny boatshed. It was a catalyst life choice that ignited my soul to awaken in profoundly meaningful and healing ways.
At this period, I had been working with children as a nanny and in afterschool care. I began face painting children for birthday parties, festivals and events, all around my city. I also worked as a private house cleaner. I learnt that I CAN live simply and have more time and freedom for myself to be and create.
I was already in a 2nd year course in transpersonal psychology & shamanism. I loved to read about indigenous cultures, shamanism, paganism, celtic spirituality, Carl Jung etc. It was a time to dream, ponder, reflect, write, be in my feminine energy and connect with the changing tides, the sea-birds who made their habitat around me and the cyclical power of the moon.
For the first time, I understood that to live in simplicity and deep relationship with Mother Nature supported my wellbeing on all levels. It did not matter how many people thought I was strange for choosing this path. It was important that I was living in coherence with my heart and true happiness flowed from within my soul.
My family stood aside as I went through a period of deep soul searching in my early adult life. Being a black sheep, I know that many of my decisions were obscure and difficult for them to understand. My parents have not stopped me doing what I felt I needed to do in my life. Even if they did not understand my choices at all, they wanted me to be happy. For this, I am eternally grateful. 🙏
Without the love, support and sharing together with my Grandmother I may not have made it through. Being an artist and passionate gardener, she was a solid, grounded woman of immense wisdom and knowledge in my life. My Grandma’s door was always open to me. I never left her beautiful home and garden without a bunch of herbs and flowers and feeling much lighter in my spirit. Over the years, we shared together not only as Granddaughter and Grandmother but as soul friends who understood eachother deeply.
“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories from your life–not someone else’s life–water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.”
Clarissa Pinkola Estes – Women Who Run With the Wolves
After 2 decades, I am still living a simple lifestyle in a camper with my partner Juerg and our Sicilian adopted dog. I feel and experience deeply the seasons and transformations that occur all around me in nature – most especially in the Alps. I journey deeply with nature spirits, animal and plant medicine and I am forever a student of Mother Nature.
My passion is to wildcraft with medicinal herbs, nutritional wild plants and berries and create flower essences from the pristine areas I visit on foot in the mountains. From the wild plants, flowers and herbs we gather, we make tinctures, teas, skin salves and a wide range of natural skin care. As my partner is Swiss and has been mushroom foraging since he was a small boy with his grandparents, we are very passionate about mushrooms for medicine, healing and cooking.
When I look back on my life in my early 20s, I know that my boatshed experience was about planting a seed. It was the beginning of a new, unique life pathway – as much as possible – finding courage to follow and trust the invisible thread of my heart and soul. 💗
Jose Mujica – Former President of Uruguay
“I spent almost 10 years in solitary, in a hole. Plenty of time to think. I spent 7 years without one book! That left me time to think. And this is what I discovered. Either you are happy with very little, free of all that extra luggage, because you have happiness inside…or you don’t get anywhere…”
“This is a matter of freedom. If you don’t have many possessions you don’t need to work all your life like a slave to sustain them, and therefore you have more time for yourself…I may appear to be an eccentric old man… But this is a free choice.”
– Jose Mujica – Former President of Uruguay
Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation. – Lao Tzu
In my last post, I expressed that part of being on earth at this time and to truly live from the SOUL means to continually be open to embrace the cycles of change and transformation in our lives.
Growth, healing, freedom and consciously evolving is simply not possible without change. However, change and the unknown are very challenging for most of us!
In our current culture, we are not encouraged to honour the soul’s yearning or to see that times of darkness and crisis in our life can reveal many inner gifts of wisdom, rebirth and renewal!
Our human family, cultural and societal conditioning can restrict us with committments and responsibilities. However, if we really desire to heal, grow and nurture the seed inside of us that is our soul, I believe it is never too late to begin.
Our soul journey is unique to each one of us.
The right people will support and encourage us.
Sometimes it is about being patient to wait and trust the universe aligns at the right moment to meet our needs and support our personal healing and soul growth.
Other times, it can be simply about having the courage to leap,…to learn from the experience and grow.
Even when we are afraid of the unknown, it is important we listen and follow our heart and soul.
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Hi, I’m Jaymie. I journey deeply with nature spirits, animal and plant medicine, as well as flower essences. My work is to assist and offer support for the transformational work of the heart using my gifts in intuitive soul guidance and inner child healing. I offer sessions to support the personal growth and expression of unique talents and soul gifts in your life. Please contact me, to book a session.
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Email Jaymie: rainbowtreewoman@yahoo.co.nz
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